me and my paranoia
i have been super paranoid lately. paranoid of some little stuffs that i usually dont bother but i do now.
a weekend after the paris attack, i came across a post on facebook about some rumour saying there are suicide bombers in kl and sabah. told my brother about it, and he hit me right on my face with his words. i was kind of stupid to believe the rumour in the first place.
but anyways, a plane passed by my house that night and it was super close to my rooftop. and super loud too.
u have no idea how terrified i was. i literally thought i was gonna die.
i had some thoughts of not having the time to say goodbye to my brothers (cause i was in my room alone and they were in theirs), not having to see my dad for the very last time (cause he wasnt home) and etc..
u know in Islam, we have this particular testimony of faith emphasizing Allah is the only God and Prophet Muhammad SAW is His messenger. this is usually spoken out by those who are dying and before their time of death. also as a zikr (praises to Allah and Muhammad SAW). and also to whose converting to Islam. Muslims commonly regard this saying as "Shahadah".
soooo, that time of the night i had alrady recited my "Shahadah" cause i really thought that was the end of my life.
and it turned out it was just a plane and i was just being paranoid. well i wont be here writing this anyways if it wasnt. but my paranoia didnt stop there.......
i saw the plane going towards klcc, and i was already picturing the plane dropping a bomb and shit. literally. there were all these crazy thoughts in my head. but then again, it was just a plane....
that 5 minutes of paranoia made me think of all those people who are constantly in fear, especially those innocent children. well at least i had it for only a few minutes. they have it every second!
its really just sad thinking about it. and my paranoia is partly because of the effect of reading too much about attacks on facebook. and this is only part of it. theres a lot more, im afraid :|
a weekend after the paris attack, i came across a post on facebook about some rumour saying there are suicide bombers in kl and sabah. told my brother about it, and he hit me right on my face with his words. i was kind of stupid to believe the rumour in the first place.
but anyways, a plane passed by my house that night and it was super close to my rooftop. and super loud too.
u have no idea how terrified i was. i literally thought i was gonna die.
i had some thoughts of not having the time to say goodbye to my brothers (cause i was in my room alone and they were in theirs), not having to see my dad for the very last time (cause he wasnt home) and etc..
u know in Islam, we have this particular testimony of faith emphasizing Allah is the only God and Prophet Muhammad SAW is His messenger. this is usually spoken out by those who are dying and before their time of death. also as a zikr (praises to Allah and Muhammad SAW). and also to whose converting to Islam. Muslims commonly regard this saying as "Shahadah".
soooo, that time of the night i had alrady recited my "Shahadah" cause i really thought that was the end of my life.
and it turned out it was just a plane and i was just being paranoid. well i wont be here writing this anyways if it wasnt. but my paranoia didnt stop there.......
i saw the plane going towards klcc, and i was already picturing the plane dropping a bomb and shit. literally. there were all these crazy thoughts in my head. but then again, it was just a plane....
that 5 minutes of paranoia made me think of all those people who are constantly in fear, especially those innocent children. well at least i had it for only a few minutes. they have it every second!
its really just sad thinking about it. and my paranoia is partly because of the effect of reading too much about attacks on facebook. and this is only part of it. theres a lot more, im afraid :|
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